Global Cooling For The United States

As the earth's temperature rises, the U.S. government is reportedly willing to shell out trillions of dollars to keep the country cool. What is being called, "The National Air Conditioner Initiative," is expected to be the most expensive U.S. government project undertaken to date. The initiative is President George W. Bush's answer to global warming.

President Bush is calling on air conditioner manufacturers to create an 800-mile apparatus that will keep the land of The United States cool, as the climate heats up. The humongous national air conditioner is slated to be completed by the year 2015.

Everyone is not pleased with the new cooling plan. In addition to environmental groups, and "fiscal conservatives," our northern neighbor is also dismayed. According to the newspaper, "The Onion," "The strongest opposition to the plan has come from Canada. Because the proposed National Air Conditioner would cover 90 percent of the state of North Dakota and face south, the U.S.'s northern neighbor would be directly in the path of superheated air expelled from the machine's back vents. Though Prime Minister Stephen Harper said this would create drought conditions and devastate their farmlands, most believe Canada lacks the clout to halt Bush's air-conditioning agenda." So now we're becoming air bullies? SMH.

[SIDEBAR: I guess ceasing to abuse the environment would be too much to ask. Instead, trillions will be spent to rectify a mostly man-created problem. Maybe this is why so many are prophesizing about the "last days."]